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It was July – we were going to Mumbai to deliver 4 tracks for
Rohan Sippy’s latest cinematic spectacle “Bluff-master”.
A tale of the ultimate con starring the smouldering little Bachchan
and pretty Priyanka Chopra.. As soon as my mojris hit the miti I was
flexing my plastic big time - Tarun Tahiliani had me hyperventilating
over the bustier and sari combos, Manish Malhotra’s spangly kaftans
were so beautiful I wanted to weep with joy and my prized purchase a
Manish Arora circus-top silk skirt that cost an arm, a leg and several
other body parts. I fell in love with some kundhan kuras in Santa Cruz;
bargained hard but the guy was having none of it saying he didn’t
even give Rani Mukherjee a discount.
All my shopping plans went down the drain (pardon the pun) when torrential
Tuesday struck. We were knocking about Colaba when Heena our Bombay
Trickbabysitter called, telling us to get our booty’s back to
Bandra PDQ as the rain was starting to settle. Amin (our driver/ friend/guardian
angel/guru) negotiated the people procession down Marine Drive that
had become a mass of bobbing umbrellas as far as the eye could see.
A 45 minute journey turned into an epic 8 hours and we passed the time
swapping life stories and dreaming of hot chai and bhajias as we dodged
the falling trees, dead cars stranded in the roads and thousands of
stranded soggy folk sploshing through the unrelenting downpour. Our
car gave up the ghost in Bandra’s Reclamation district when the
water finally hit the engine and we hitched and waded waist deep in
water back to the Taj Lands End, soaked to the skin but by the grace
of all Gods in one piece. The hotel was full of flood refugees, SRK’s
missuz Gauri had checked in with the kids, Ajay Devgan was loitering
in the lobby - models, movie people, tourists and Trickbaby.
Next day we were meant to be shooting the promo clip to “Nine
parts of desire” but the sets at Film City were submerged so we
hooked up with Rohan Sippy and his production team to work out a contingency
plan. That’s when we cooked up the idea of Abhishek playing my
love interest in the video but first we had to wait for the rain to
ease up. I had a meeting with this hopeless stylist who was determined
to put me in something white and tragic (in fairness he’d just
been given the job of making 10 feather head-dresses overnight and was
a bit pre-occupied). I tried my best Gubbar Singh impression out on
everyone but no-one was impressed, not even Ramesh Sippy. Back at the
hotel I bumped into Jackie Shirof in the lift and he invited us to spend
the evening with him and his cheeky racing driver compadre – we
stayed up listening to Jethro Tull and Abida Parveen on his laptop,
gupping and shupping til the early morn. Now that was a night to remember. |
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Abhishek’s place in Juhu had been hit pretty bad and we were told
he’d be out of action for a few days – all we could do was
sit and wait. On the Saturday we shot the indoor sequences for “Nine
parts” in a beautiful old haveli mansion. It basically involved
me moping around the house looking miserable (which was easy to do under
the circumstances) waiting for my long overdue beloved Abhishek to return
home (ironic in that he had gone awol on us).
On the Monday we finally made it to Film City to finish off the video
and as it turned out little B was there after all finishing off the
dance sequences to Bluffmaster’s title track. Now when Trickbaby
were asked to re-mix Mehmood’s “Sabse bada rupaiya”
we loved it. Once we got our hands on it, ripped it up and revved it
up with some big beats and brass we really really loved it; but when
we watched Abhishek with his dancing girls working the hip gyrations
we knew we’d created a monster. Everyone from the make up guys
to the tech hands was singing along and saying the song was “
bohut buriya” and certain to take India by storm.
AB was a joker and a gentleman, a consummate pro to whom holding court
comes naturally, and on top of that he smelt really good. I know because
I got up close and personal. On our last night in Mumbai I was pulled
up to cameo my bit for “Sabse” dancing alongside Baby Bachchan
while the film’s choreographer threw horrified looks in my direction
(I can only guess she was inwardly jealous of my innovative dancing
style). Could things get any more surreal? Yes they could – for
the next scene me and A.B. shared a ride in a customized Rickshaw and
for the climactic dream sequence to “Nine parts” I found
myself face to face, inches away from Bolly’s biggest hunk twirling
on a podium, so close I’m sure he must have heard my heart beating.
“Look lovingly into his eyes” said Rohan – “I
think I can manage that” I gulped. As for the faluda on the kulfi
moment – all that spinning had made me dizzy and through my double
vision I thought I spotted Amitabh Bachchan stood at the back of the
set watching us and no word of a lie it was the big B himself. He’d
been recording KBC next door and popped in to see how his boy was getting
on. Monsoons, musthi with Jackie, dancing with AB - now I’ve seen
it all.
Trickbaby’s album’ Hanging Around’ is out now, featuring
3 tracks from Bluffmaster.
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